04/10/2021

Laugh Trek

Don't Wreck Yourself. Laugh Trek yourself.

Romulans and Vulcans: Which Is The Most Messed Up Star Trek Alien Race?

Romulans and Vulcans.  What a choice.  Who’s the most fucked up alien race in Star Trek?  It’s a tough cosmic call to be sure, but we have enough data on both humanoid aliens to at least get close to an informed conclusion.  Is it the intellectual till they’re accused of being snobby, logical elitist Vulcans?  Or do the offshoot, predatory and smoothly calculating to be justly called sneaky Romulans fill the more fucked up bill?  Come with me now.  Let’s fully explore this stimulating Trek topic together.  

Vulcan Elitism 

Spock – he’s the most familiar Vulcan of them all.  But they say, familiarity breeds contempt.  Just ask Dr. McCoy.

He’ll never be accused of being an average, everyday man or Vulcan.  The fact that his mother is a Terran from Earth and his father, a Vulcan, means he’s half human, half Vulcan.  It does add to the notion his Vulcan side is somewhat diluted by his comparatively less hardy human genes.  When all is said and done, however, it’s all in the presentation.  

Spock’s a real badass.  But is that always such a good thing?

Spock’s confident attitude, his usually stiff demeanor, can be characterized by some as being interpreted as cocky, even arrogant.  Can this be said for all Vulcans?  We’ve met many over the years; Sarek, Spock’s Dad, the legendary ambassador, T’Pau, the Vulcan elder, who presided over the brutal contest between Kirk and Spock, and Tuvok, the always logical Voyager Security Chief under Captain Janeway.  These Vulcans offered up efficient communication of their intent and philosophy, so who could fault them for such clear cut conveyance.  Of course, nobody likes being called wrong – especially in the hierarchy of an outfit such as Starfleet.

In any group, race or even an entire planet, there are exceptions.  Take Spock’s half brother, the flamboyant Sybok.  He’s certainly not the predictable Vulcan.  He practically wallows in emotion, and laughs more uproariously than a Klingon drunk on blood wine. 

Trekkers know Sybok is an example of a Vulcan set loose – unleashed.  He’s free of emotion suppression training.  And that brings us to the Vulcan looking, but far different acting cousin race.

Romulan Rowdiness

Romulans aren’t known to be subtle.  They may not be as direct with their fists, feet or swords as a Klingon warrior, but they don’t beat around the bush.

The first Romulan seen by audiences in Star Trek is in Balance of Terror.  He commands a ship intent on destroying Captain Kirk’s Enterprise.   As the cat and mouse game plays on, the Romulan Commander realized he was outmatched by the human Starfleet tactician.  In the end, Kirk bests his foe, and offers to rescue the Romulan leader and his crew, but he declines, explaining that it’s not the Romulan way to be taken prisoner.  Death is preferred and expected by his people over incarceration.  The Romulan craft self destructs.

For Spock, a game with a Romulan becomes much more pleasurable, if not as challenging.  

In the episode, The Enterprise Incident, Kirk and Spock are assigned to steal a Romulan cloaking device.  The theft comes off successfully, with Spock having to play a lust struck Vulcan under the charms of a beautiful, female Romulan Commander.  This time, the Romulan Commander is taken prisoner, with Spock’s honey trap neatly snagging her.

When all factors are weighed – who’s the most messed up in the Star Trek universe.  Who’s overly screwed up and fucked up – Romulans or Vulcans?  It’s important to remember that Romulans – many centuries removed – hailed from the planet Vulcan as full members of the same race.   So maybe, recalling such an essential, salient point, Vulcans and Romulans rate so close to one another, they’re simply screwed up in equal measure.