04/10/2021

Laugh Trek

Don't Wreck Yourself. Laugh Trek yourself.

Superman & Lois Spins Off New TV Shows

Superman Shows Coming Whether You Like It Or Not

Superman & Lois heats up fandom with new adventures.  DC fans are excited.  They are flocking to watch the new show.  But how do you maintain such excitement season after season?  You simply spin-off as many shows as is humanly possible.  Kal-El and his Earthbound human love, Lois, will soon be joined by dozens of new TV series designed to keep you watching – no matter the production values or quality.

Laugh Trek decided to poll the producers to see just what they have planned.

Superman & Lex

This one is a no Brainiac brainer.  Supes and Lex will trade quips and blows – oil up that Superpower suit, my evil baldy! – as they simply kick each other’s asses and yap and yap about what great foes the other one makes for the other.  Psychiatrists will weigh in to talk about their toxic masculinity complex and how Batman and Joker have them beat with more complex Daddy issues.

Superman & Jimmy

Jimmy Olsen, boring and annoying – a bit of both?  Maybe.  But this isn’t stopping the CW from bringing the two guys together for the silly sitcom of the decade.  It will be sassy shades of The Odd Couple, as the super serious and neat, Clark Kent trades clean-up duties with the lazy, dirty and sloppy, slobby Jimmy.

Superman & Perry

The Daily Planet editor, Perry White, will get far more intimate with his employee, Clark Kent, and each week he’ll suspect Clark is really Kal-El from Krypton, but Superman will always stay one step ahead of his gruff boss – and even slap him around a few times to ensure his secret identity.  Elder abuse?  It’s all in and acceptable for great melodrama! 

Superman & Krypto

Superman – the dog whisperer?  Basically.  Here, Krypto will start beating up the other dogs in Metropolis and brutally murdering all the cats.  Clark will have to appear in small claims court to defend his Kryptonian canine.  Judge Judy guest stars to put the big man and his bully dog in legal place. 

Superman & Darkseid

Familiarity breeds contempt?  Usually.  Here, Darkseid, the power crazed despot, will find his favorite Earth resident is more than just a red cape and blue tights.  The Big D and the BIg S will learn more about each other – trading cooking recipes, cleaning tips and holistic healing – handy whenever they throwdown in a friendly, Wrestlemania way – as we come to appreciate the ultimate bromance. 

New Superman Shows Are Coming Whether You Like It Or Not

Superman & Mxlplik – he’s the bad ass blue boy, the other’s the tool fool boy.  Each week the little magical shithead will turn Supes into all sorts of bizarre and profane things.  Wackiness will ensue for sure, and if you don’t like the funny runny bunny, there are a ton more spin-offs coming down the pike. 

Superman & Robin

Are you tired of hanging around with the same, lame superhero?  Robin of Gotham City knows the deal all too well.  He hooks up with Supes and the two soon become fast friends and the new dynamic duo.  Batman, seeking to sabotage the union because of burning bat jealousy, does everything in his batty power to reclaim his Boy Wonder Bluder. 

Superman & Alfred

Supes steals Robin, and then he goes krypto commando and steals Alfred.  The veddy British man’s man proceeds to rearrange Kal-El’s Fortress of Solitude to the point of Superman flying into a Kryptonian rage.  “WTF?  I can’t find my Kryptonian Massage Wand!”  Alfred replies, “Sir, that’s a sad crutch, one of your global caliber cannot abide!”  All the while, Batman plots murderous revenge for Superman stealing yet another of his bullshit batshit family. 

Superman & The Daily Planet Janitor

Probably the last spin-off in history of any Superman related production.  This one promises to be a complete snorefest, with the Daily Planet Janitor bemoaning his position, talking about floorwax vs mop and glow and generally causing Superman to literally incinerate his surroundings with heat vision because of the mind numbing boredom.  Poignant Kodak moments of Superman using his cold breath and super speed to help the old one fulfill his janitorial duties will become must see, insane TV.