Dracula does Darth.  A Vampire Vader? Yes, polish up those pretty Jedi lightsaber jewels.  Jump for joy, horror and sci-fi lovers. That’s what’s happening for the horrible Lord of Darkness, or the Baron of Blood.  Chalk it up to a dread Lord of the Undead meeting up with a Sith Lord of The Darkside.  

Vampire Vader

Laugh Trek swooped down to Castle Dracula to see just what all the Jedi jostling fuss was about.  We brought along plenty of cloves of garlic and holy water – just in case our interviewee wasn’t in the mood to behave around our supple necks.

LT:  Thanks for welcoming us and making our stay here as cozy as one can in a dilapidated, crumbling castle built in the 14 century.

D: Yes, well my thinking on this matter is simply too many renovations or modernization of any kind would take away from my humble abode’s sheer and terrible ambiance, wouldn’t you tend to agree? 

LT: Certainly.  Yes. We’ll agree to anything as long as our necks stay in one piece.

D: (cackling) Oh, no worries, dearest American scribbler of babble, I’ve already ‘dined’ and not, would you believe on kibble brine nor fine wine.

LT:  We can believe it.  OK. Star Wars. Jedi.  Darth Vader. The simple question on everyone’s mind since we heard the new:  Why are you going to dress up as Darth Vader? 

D: Your country… is how do you say it, obsessed with this War of Stars, correct?

LT:  You’d be pretty accurate in saying that, yep.

Drac Vader

D:  Yes, so I wish to climb aboard that merry old bandwagon and gain a bit of exposure for myself.  My feared name, my bloody reputation, isn’t exactly the talk of the village these past few years.

LT:  And this troubles you?

D:  I am the Prince Of Darkness!  Do I not deserve some focus and attention – a little limelight.  Not Sunlight, of course! But limelight can be a good thing for one’s mind, body and well for others their souls, but you catch my drift, do you not?

LT:  Sure, dressing up as Darth Vader will get you some buzz.

D:  Buzz?  Sacrilege!  I am no insect, nor am I a stinging bee!

LT:  Attention – I’m talking attention.

D:  Yes, this Jedi person – this Darth Vader, he has already stolen my look.  He wears a cape, he breathes heavy and he’s a villain. I’ve been doing that for centuries.  It won’t be too difficult for me to assume his persona.  

LT:  But you don’t breathe, do you?

D:  Details!

LT:  Well, thanks for the chat, this has been weird to say the least.  Where exactly are you going to show off your Darth Vader costume?  Transylvania Twist parties? 

D: The villagers in my town will simply love to gaze upon my Darth Vader costume as I wield my blood soaked lightsaber in a fantastic display of death and destruction, mowing down dozens of them in a blend of science and sorcery!  Don’t think they don’t love it, because if they didn’t, wouldn’t they have moved away by now?

LT:  Tourist trap?

D:  Yes, you might be right.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *