Maleficent appears to be a big fat mistake. The hot new movie, starring Angelina Jolie, proudly named Maleficent: Mistress Of Evil has caught the critical eyes of the socially aware. Can you say wide awake and so wake minded that you’re fully woke and spoke? This trendy movie tells the tricky tale of a powerful fictional female. Why would Disney ever name it by putting an insulting Male out in front? Now, mouse house promptly slips on a damage control spin blouse. It is definitely correcting its mistake. Maleficent will now justly be called Femaleficent.
Rejoice, Disney devotees! The messy maleness staining the flawless femaleness shall be removed forthwith!
Laugh Trek sat down with some mousey mouseketeers wearing their iconic mouse ears to see just what went terribly wrong.
LT: Maleness. Male. Maleficent. Sigh. I am still in absolute shock. I can barely formulate the words.
MALEficent. How could you do something so fitfully and frightfully male? It’s got penis pissing all over it. What in the name of all that is socially woke and aware went wrong with this debilitating debacle?
DIS: We are ditzy. Justly and loudly call us Dizzy Ditzy Disney. We take full and complete blame for this ridiculous moronic male mistake. How could we ever put a brazen male gender descriptor within such a female led franchise?
LT: It absolutely boggles the mind. My Mind. Our Mind. Your Mind. The collective universally woke mind. It car crashes the mirthless mind of anyone who isn’t completely and sound asleep and snoring!
DIS: We’re cowed. Our company’s fat dumb ass is bent over a chair taking our well deserved licks. The only big headache now is redoing all the movie’s many merry merchandise.
Oy such a mousketeer headache!
Merry merch can’t simply be redone so very easily or so damn cheaply. But of course, cost never worries our company. The film’s T-shirts, book covers, the toys – wow – we’ve got a load of work on our hands, but we deserve it.
LT: Guess what, my apologetic babies? Frankly you guys deserve every last vapid verbal spanking your’e going to get and then some more. So glad you’ve come to your sensibility and senses – even just a wee bit late in the name game.
DIS: Angelina Jolie dazzle as the vibrant vixen and powerful female in Maleficent. Elle Fanning is there too. Michelle Pfieffer comes along as well. We are all about female empowerment. We are not about empowering those stale, old lazy and sex crazy males.
This is FEMALE. Femaleficent is now the movie. Please, accept our heartfelt apologies and profiteering promises. It shall never happen again. We’ve even considered taking out all references to males in all of our content. Some of our brainy brainstormers have considered casting all roles with females. Who the hell needs males, right? Girl power – Ho!
LT: Ho?! Whoa! Uh No! Be careful there. Maleficent looks like it’s coming right back to smack your dumb drowsy ass when you say something so sleepy as that.