Laugh Trek

Don't Wreck Yourself. Laugh Trek yourself.

Picard Changes Name To Star Trek: Cap

Go Where No Cap's Gone Before

Picard plays a tame name game.  He changes the name of his long awaited show once again.  We’ve already had Star Trek: Picard, then as the show went to the dogs, it became, Star Trek: Pit Bull.  Now, since Jean-Luc Picard wears a hat throughout the series, it becomes Star Trek: Cap.

Engage!  Let’s see how many hat styles and chapeau stores are out there.

To Boldly Go Where No Hat Has Gone Before

Laugh Trek could see just how smart and fashionable Jean-Luc Picard looks in his spiffy hat.  We decided to pick the gray matter of the brain trust responsible for this new incarnation of Gene Roddenberry’s sci-fi franchise.

Why a cap?  Why not give him something more, shall we say exciting?  Not that hats aren’t exciting, of course they are incredibly stimulating

Well, he is a bald man, after all.

Yes, that he is.  Quite true.  Great obvious point, my brainy TV executive.  Still no cure for the bald affliction, and we’re now hundreds of years in the future.  Gotcha.

Look at today.  We have tons of bald therapies which work – minoxidil, those wacky laser caps.

Go Where No Cap’s Gone Before

Oh wait a minute!  Is that what that hat is!?  One of those laser caps to cure baldness?  I’ve seen the TV infomercial – amazing!

(Chuckles) It might be.  Also, it could be a stealth weapon capable of knocking anybody to his ass in seconds.

Oh, yes, it could be indeed.  LOL!  Wow – better than cricket phasers!

We can only say so much.  Rest assured, Jean-Luc Picard has more than a few tricks under his sleeve, or in this case, his hat.

Will the other cast members wear hats?  Say matching colors, styles and fabrics?

Our actors and actresses and CGI things – they won’t romp around nude.  We don’t want a naked crew.  Do you?  Anyway, cast members will definitely wear clothing – that’s all we can say for now.  These are sensitive subjects.  As we churn out more and more Star Trek for CBS All Access, we must be aware of wardrobe concerns.  Get ready, we’re gonna blow your hats off with what we’ve got planned.

Look, all swag cards on table, shall we?  We’re going to merchandise the hell outta this.  Picard Caps with Make It So emblazoned on front.  There will be dog tags with Number One Is Tons Of Fun bold for all the world to see.  Want more Star Trek merch?  We’ll give it to ya till ya hate it – then still want more.