Laugh Trek

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The Traveler says, ‘Wesley Crusher can be a little Shithead’

Crusher Sucks?

The Traveler boasts a reputation like few alien entities in our known galaxy.  He’s at once enigmatic and straight forward. He possesses intricately memorable hands.  His peculiar fashion sense may be called into question, but genius isn’t synonymous with the sartorial elite runway.  His is the manner of the kind, patient teacher gently encouraging the wondering student’s answer. All that, and he’s finally airing his dirty laundry with Starfleet luminary Wesley Crusher.

Crushed By Crusher’s Shitty Behavior

Laugh Trek yelled in shock to hear how dickish Wes Crusher can be to a wondrously cosmic powered alien.  But The Traveler isn’t the kind of cosmic powered dude who’d spread false rumors.  Is he?

Dickish?  Prickish? Simply Sickish?  What level of dicky moves are we talking here?

You must comprehend the foundational dynamics of our interwoven and subtle inter-species interaction in their full, multi-faceted totality.  It’s on par, yet wholly different, than say a rigid application of Newtonian mechanized physics or even  Euclidean expression of subatomic intricacies or quantum flux of a birthing, newborn Neutron star being swallowed by a black hole singularity.

Um, right….  Come again? (whispering WTF?)

My thought processes may appear scattered.  I apologize, however, my brain perceives reality on a far different scale than your own.  Does this make things more simplistic for your woefully simple mind?

Well, gee, you don’t have to be insulting about it….

(chuckles) My race impresses as one of infinite, muli-faceted reflection, and your own Wesley Crusher takes full advantage and joyously exploits my, shall we say, chronic naivete.

Wes Crusher Sucks?

In other words, he’s a dick to you because he knows he can get away with it?


Honestly, you know, your mind and reasoning is far more nimble than I’d ever have imagined.

Cheers.  Give us an example of Crusher’s extreme dickish and prickish attitude.

Forgive my limitations, I am not plainly versed in your colorful, cultural slang, but I presume you mean Wesley’s predilection for being one full of a head of malodorous excrement.


Yes, well, the human boy is, shall we say full bodied and energized in his ability to force one into feelings of intense excitement – one from your race would invariably call it a seething rage to the point of homicide.

But your trans-dimensional powers… Couldn’t you simply fix it – you know, change up the game?

Negative.  That is not feasible.  Wesley Crusher cannot be touched.

His is one complex intricacy and of far reaching import – far more precious than so many others of your feeble kind.  So, in essence, my big, fat tri clawed hands are tied. It is truly, as your backward kind would screech on high, a bitch.