Starfleet wants you to Shut Up, Wesley! Don’t worry, it’s nothing messy. The United Federation of Planets exploratory force won’t ask you to forcibly shut Wesley Crusher’s mouth – though some agree with the severe tactic. This isn’t a S&M game. It’s all to do with giddy celebration. Starfleet now formally recognizes a phrase which Captain Picard of Enterprise 1701-D pioneered. Soon after Jean-Luc Picard’s memorable shutting up of Mister Crusher, more than a few have taken the words to heart.
Indeed, if you poll Enterprise crew members, they not only recall hearing Shut Up, Wesley for the first time, but absolutely delight in the phrase wholeheartedly.
Now, they want everyone to use it, with Starfleet’s official endorsement. The whole of the galaxy awaits to adopt its use on every world.
Shut Up Wesley Crusher!
Laugh Trek needed to prepare for a coming avalanche of silence. We shut ourselves up by looking into a mirror, then repeatedly screaming the fabled phrase. Before speaking to Starfleet brass, we wanted to be more than properly motivated.
Was it a long considered decision or did you guys know right off the bat that shutting people up by referring to Wesley Crusher was a perfect, official Starfleet discipline?
As soon as word of Captain Jean-Luc Picard’s moment of revelation hit our subspace monitors, we knew we had to do something with it. This was way too juicy and fun to ignore. It’s not every day a Starship commander gets to put a snotty little genius in his place.
Speaking of that little genius, what does the receiving end of the legendary Picard reprimand think about this move? Have you heard word from Mister Crusher himself?
Wesley Crusher is, how shall I say it – often hard to get a hold of. He’s always out warping, transwarping or multi-dimensioning it or StarGate portaling it with that enigmatic Traveller guy. What a dynamic duo they make. Batman and Robin? Captain America and Bucky? Nope. Think Wesley and The Traveller!
Oh, that’s right – they’re still together then?
Apparently. Who knows though, since both of them have sophisticated time-space spanning ‘abilities’ which go far beyond our lowly faculties, right? So who knows…. It’s kinda scary.
Yes, yes it is. OK. Back to SUW – by the way, I like saying it like that!
That works. Easier to put on a baseball cap too. We want folks to be comfortable with Shut up Wesley – as comfortable with saying it as we are hearing it! Captain Picard started something beautiful which we hope sweeps the whole of the known galaxy, and even beyond. We want Klingons to say it, the Romulans – hell even those dopey dinosaur looking bastards the Jem Hadar could warble it while getting their Ketracel White. Imagine – you go off to Risa, the pleasure planet. You’re horny as all hell. Some hottie saddles up to you, and says in a sultry voice, ‘Shut up, Wesley!’ – wouldn’t that be too gosh darned neat?
It would be neat – and also really weird too. But yeah, I see your point. You want as many people using SUW as can handle the magic of it.
Yes. And when Starfleet commanders need to discipline their newly minted Ensigns – fresh out of the Academy, they’ll simply blast them with a hearty, SHUT UP WESLEY! Trust me – we’ll all be the better for having said and heard it!