R2D2 beeps out loudly at the entire galaxy.  Like a rolling beeper drowning his chirping circuits in super charged Red Bull lube.  The ever hyperactive droid keeps on beeping and beeping incessantly. But what’s blinking bullet brain actually saying?  The adorable astromech droid finally speaks out hardcore about his gold plated sidekick – C3PO. Full Translation Protocols Activated:  “C3PO is a hateful, miserable droid. He’s always an enormous golden prick.”

Beep Beep – C3PO’s A Creep Creep

Laugh Trek booted up our snazzy, jazzy galactic translator protocols – best when communicating in a galaxy, far, far away.  We didn’t have use of a protocol droid such as C3PO, since R2 needed to trash talk him to us.

C3PO is that much of a dick?  We know you two don’t really get along, but had little clue it was so bad.

BEEP BEEP.  “Yeah, the guy’s a smarmy jack wad.  You can’t imagine how much of a royal diva he can be.  It’s like he thinks he’s a human and not a droid. And he thinks he’s not even a normal, everyday human – but some royal queen like Princess Leia or something.  He’s so damn deluded”

But down deep – you really do love the guy, right?

BEEP BEEP  “Down deep, I wish someone would haul him off to a scrap heap – but I doubt anybody would be dumb enough to think that gold plated asshole would be worth hauling anywhere!”

Come on now, there is nothing about C3PO – your droid buddy for years which brings a crinkle light pattern smile to your circuits?

He BEEPED AND BEEPED FOR A LONG TIME……   

BEEP BEEP  “The guy’s worthless.  When we were taken in by Jabba The Hutt – on that mission for Master Skywalker – I wanted to see that 800lb blubber butt sit on C3PO and fart, defecate and just crush him.  That’s the kind of unremitting and volcano kind of hate I have for that stench of a toilet bowl turd,”