Yoda devotees, we’re thrilled to bring you truly fantastic news. Yoga from Yoda launches. The fabled space ace’s yoga center opens for business. Tired of the same old extreme workout? Sick of those yuppie centric crossfit gyms? This noble, legendary Jedi Knight – known for training scores of valiant warriors, now brings to everyone searching for guidance his fit and fitness knowhow to you.
Yoda Yoga Works Out Or Kills You
“Do or Do Not! Prepared to come to work at my Jedi workout! And fail, you will not!” The wizened, green guru, surrounded by his ever loyal Jedi faithful, bellowed paternally. We caught up with the iconic Jedi Master and newly crowned corporate yoga yahoo during grand opening of his flagship fitness center.
Who can participate? Must one be in great shape to take part? After all, round is a shape, correct?
“Be my potential customer thin or fat or in between. My workout excludes no one. Come one and come all! This advice just remember: Fame, adventure and excitement! A yoga knight practitioner craves not these things!”
What of those with a lack of confidence? Anything to fear, here?
Yoda’s face assumed a serious expression. His voice grew deeper and he intoned in his inimitable and gravelly tone, “Afraid of working out hard? You will be. YOU WILL BE!”
The benefits of yoga are well known. The ancient exercise affords more pros than can be properly listed here. Suffice it to say, it’s good for the mind, body and Force soul.
The ancient Earth exercise remains one of the most popular and most effective workouts for any age or fitness level. Leave it to the Jedi of our fondest dreams to take us by the hand and gently pummel us into sweaty submission postures. Just ask Luke Skywalker how brutal the little guy can be during training.
One last question – what of lightsaber training and the yoga culture? “My workout twists you into so many positions, lightsaber techniques come naturally – as a pretzel takes to salt.”
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