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Disney Announces ‘Frozen’ Spin-off – ‘Defrosted’


No More Frost - Defrosted

Frozen shines brilliantly as part of our collective snow bound pop culture.  You could even call the film solid permafrost.  Frozen 2, the equally cold hearted sequel, promises even more of a chilly reception.  How will Disney’s Magic Kingdom handle all that icy goodness?  Melt it all down to one muddle of a puddle.

Elsa and Anna’s soapy conflict froze our animation fan butts solid.  Talk about frigid Arctic Ass. But suddenly dialing up the cinematic climate controls?  If this spin-off explodes, fans will turn up the heat on the Mouse House to produce more room temperature fare.  Get ready to melt, folks. Looks like we’ll all soon be properly Defrosted.

‘Frozen’ Meat Needs To Be ‘Defrosted’

Laugh Trek checked our I Love Lucy style meat freezer to confirm our cutlets and chops were laid out.  After your meat freezes, naturally, one needs to engage in special defrosting.

Let it go!  Beat. Let it snow!  Longer Beat. Let it blow!  Really long dramatic beat. Let’s go for a predictable break the ice, shall we?  As a nation, nay, as a planet, we still reel from the bone chill Frozen blew us.  Frozen 2 only adds to a steep thermometer decline.  Is Defrosted simply designed to give us the hots?

“Freezing meat – thereby freezing your audience – requires nifty mental gymnastics.  It’s simple: Frozen demands defrosting.  When ya freeze, eventually, ya gotta defrost.  We knew from the start we’d have to ultimately give our audience Defrosted.  With more Elsa and Anna icy shenanigans, you’ll find your perky persona melting and smelting like limp liquid.  Now, doesn’t it sound so very special?”

Ditch The Frost – ‘Defrosted’

Nope.  It sounds completely bizarre.  Sure, OK. We’re gonna get Defrosted – never to be frozen again.  I strongly emphasize this because of nagging little healthy cooking guidelines.  You freeze your meat, great. Once it’s been defrosted, you can’t freeze it up again.  Right or wrong?

“Yes.  Right.  Gotcha, but you know you’re dealing here with fiction and fantasy.  It sounds as if you’re taking this way too seriously. The culinary, food prep metaphor seems a tad too literal, don’t you think?”

And Elsa and Anna’s eventual ‘icy’ relationship being so cold metaphorically, it’s frozen, wasn’t a tad on the nose and overwrought?

“Eh.  Mere details.  Artistic license.  Drama. Anyway, our delightful Defrosted will take Frozen to new heights of magical theatrics.  We don’t see Defrosted melting all of Frozen’s future potential.  We simply realize spin-offs connected with established franchises make a nice profit.  Do you blame us?  Now, how are those cutlets and chops looking?  Defrosted yet?”