Merlin bellows throughout the halls of fabled Camelot. That wise tower of power conveys a magical message to fellow wizard Harry Potter. The iconic magic man, universally recognized as one of the first, oldest and most powerful mages in all recorded history, wants the youngster to know, “You are not quite so powerful nor capable. Your powers are fairly feeble, even laughable when compared to my own magnificence. Be gone from my pervasive sight or incur Merlin’s wrathful wizardry.”
Potter – Reprobate Rotter?
Laugh Trek squeezed our ample girth into flowing, flattering wizard robes, then we journeyed to Merlin’s lavish lair. It is here where the memorable magic truly happens. Every manner of sorcery was on display here – it blew our little non magical minds.
We’re in awe of your cool digs, Merlin. Color us pressed, dressed and duly impressed. Thanks for hosting us and admitting how much you want to take down Harry Potter.
Merlin grumbled, “This woeful ‘wizard’ – and I use the term ridiculously loosely – needs no help from me in his own self destruction. His infantile purchase on the universality of natural magicks shall bring forth his own delicious downfall.”
Can we get a more layman’s version of that enigmatic magical motion? In other words – what in hell’s name do you mean by that?
Merlin sighed deeply. “Forsooth, your ignorance astounds me. Very well. Natural magic – nature’s own rhythms and cycles – remain the foundation of all truly powerful magic. Spells, incantations, wands and potions – these are the cowardly domain of the theatrical, stage magician. With but a nod of my head, a flourish of my fingers or even a wink blink of my eye, I change the course of a river, enchant a horse to throw off a rider or call a lightning bolt down from heaven to strike and smite my opponent. I perform natural magicks for Arthur and his Knights – it is this capability which potion, incantations and wand simpletons sorely lack.”
Mother Nature ‘listens’ to wizards such as yourself? She’s your ally?
“Mother Nature and I hang out all the time, yes, she’s a gracious lady, if a tad merry mercurial. Harry Potter and his ilk require (chuckles) wands and spell books and owls. Gobsmacked is me! Such nonsensical poppycock! As that ever frugal bloke Scrooge loves to say, Bah Humbug! I say Humbug and Bah to Potter’s paltry potions and his wriggly, wimpy wands. In a wizard battle, mighty Merlin would grind him into the ground. Potter’s most certainly a hotter rotter.”