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Starfleet Command Orders Change To ‘Superstar’ Fleet

New Superstars

New Superstars Of The Galaxy

Starfleet, keeping in line with their core mission, embarks on a mission of transformational change.  The United Federation of Planets maintains peace and promotes exploration with a crackerjack united space force of starships.  No worries, the famed, reliable hardware and advanced tech won’t operate any differently. We’re talking branding here.  Prepare, folks, for a name change.  

Quadrant news feeds will all soon be updating with this major announcement, and you won’t be reporting to a Starfleet outpost, colony nor Federation Starship any longer.  You’ll be an active member in newly named organization: The Superstar Fleet – energizing space cadets everywhere, and those who love them.

A Superstar Fleet Beats A Starfleet

Laugh Trek donned our replicated, wrinkle free and uniforms lacking any pockets whatsoever.  We made sure we made the smart dressed grade, and beamed on over to the new Superstar Fleet Command.  We were the first news outlet to receive the transformational subspace message.  Needless to say, it put us promptly on Red Alert.

The UFP’s Starfleet is now the Superstar Fleet.  Isn’t crowing like that a little too egotistical, just a bit too self congratulatory?

New Superstars
New Superstars Of The Galaxy

“We know who we are and the noble reputation we uphold each and every day.  Every member of Starfleet has always been a Superstar – and now we’re fixing up the name to reflect what we’ve known and demonstrated all along.  Starfleet has always sought out new life forms and new civilizations. From now on we’ll be doing the exact same thing, but now, we’ll be Superstars while carrying out our orders and upholding the structural framework of The Prime Directive.”

Will everyone call each other Superstar! – yelling it out in an enthusiastic, positively jubilant manner?

“I see what you did there.  Clever.  I think you’re referring to a 20th century Earth comedy show wherein a young school girl went around gyrating in silly dances.  She would stick her fingers under her armpits, and smell them when she got overly excited.  Starfleet never did anything like that.  I can assure you, Superstar Fleet members won’t be doing anything remotely like that, however, our alien species carry on rituals which make that look like a snoozefest.”