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Kylo Ren To Star In ‘Star Wars: The Lost Jerk’

Lost Jerk

Lost Jerk

Kylo Ren, remember comedian Steve Martin?  The clever former Saturday Night Live cast member, comedian, writer and actor made a little movie called, The Jerk.  Martin entertained us as one wild and crazy guy.  But times change. New Jerks are needed by the film going public.  If Disney and Lucasfilm get its way, modern Star Wars audiences will now be calling Kylo The Lost Jerk.

The Last Jedi or The Lost Jerk?

Laugh Trek managed to squeeze in a little cozy chat time with Lost Jerk producers.  The creative group has more than something fun planned for the crybaby Jedi.

“Look, we’re well aware directors J.J. Abrams and Rian Johnson gave us the first crybaby villain.  Kylo whines.  He sobs miserably.  He sheds tears over every little thing.  Behavior not fit for anyone remotely likable, even ones we love to hate, such as Darth Vader or Jabba The Hutt.  Imagine a hugely obese Jabba bawling like a 800 pound crybaby?  Anyway, you get my drift.  Finally, we decided we may as well turn Kylo Ren into the genuine jerkwad he is. Hence, the magic brilliance of The Lost Jerk.”

Beef Jerky or Jerkwad Jerky?

What exactly can we expect from this Lost Jerk?

Lost Jerk
Lost Jerk

“Ren remains lost.  He’s a lost wimp.  Lost from his family, lost from the father he cowardly killed.  Hell, he’d be lost from his friends if he had any to speak of. So the guy is definitely lost.  And we all know he’s a total jerk. The Lost Jerk should go down in cinema history as one of the truly magnificent film titles.  It’s fun, it’s fitting and damn it’s fast.”

As the world breathlessly awaits the last Star Wars installment from director Abrams – finishing up a trilogy he started and Rian Johnson clumsily carried forward – news of Kylo Ren starring in his own film should be completely savored by the Force faithful.  After all, no matter how much people may not like him, watching a big, fat lost jerkwad operate sounds like delicious sci-fi based fun.