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Lucasfilm Creates ‘Star Wars: The Last Jackass’

The Last Jackass

The Last Jackass

Lucasfilm asks the Force faithful – Are you Jedi or Jackass?  How’s about blending both? Hollywood’s sci-fi entertainment powerhouse crafted by wielding the lithe lightsaber of founder George Lucas will soon produce a first, a reality Star Wars style TV show.  Use The Force, Luke,  you Jackass Jedi – will be our new cosmic catchphrase.

Jedi or Jackass?

Laugh Trek boarded our heroic hyperspace sled to catch up with a few scheming SWJ producers.  We watched as they polished laser bright lightsabers and generally acted like Jackasses masquerading as Jedi.

“It’s just the sort of behavior and droids we’re looking for.  Jedi are notorious over the galaxy as clean and neat – a bit too clean if you ask us.  The Last Jackass will forever change the squeaky clean image.  Jackass entertained as a show known for balls to the wall action mixed up with ridiculous physical dares.  We’ll merge all of that foolish fun into our asinine show.”

The Last Jackass
The Last Jackass

Foolish fun means fools using tools.  Who are the fools? What kind of tools will they use?

“Imagine:  Jedi masters using Force blows wacking hard and mercilessly into unprotected crotches as they drink a nasty liquid shake Yoda brews up.  Maybe one catches their testicles on those thorny nodules on Darth Maul’s flame red head!  What if they throw pepper spray on that whining brat, Kylo Ren to give him something to cry about.  Remember the hologram R2D2 took to Luke Skywalker. With some hacking, god only knows what will come out! This is the sort of brain drain, stupid mindless fun you’ll see.  Sit back with a few cold ones, cuddle up to your Wookie partner to enjoy when you trust our inane sense of spectacle and watch Star Wars: Jackass.”

Whoa.  Stoked we are.  Help us Obi-Wan Kenobi, you big fat dope!

“Obi-Wan will act as Emperor Pope Dope of Hope and as funky as you damn well please.  Don’t worry, Lucasfilm has you covered – we’ll bring a bunch of rowdy Jackass Jedi friends to get in on the fun. Who will be the Last Jedi Jackass?  Tune in to find out, people”