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Odin to Thor ‘Don’t Be A Bitch’

Odin Says

Odin Says

Odin speaks and we listen – though rarely do his sons indulge.  The All Father issues a godly directive to his randy, misbehaving son, Thor.  “Your reprehensible behavior proves embarrassing to our royal Asgard clan. Stop being a whiny little bitch as Midgard mortals say.  I proclaim you to be my formidable son and heir, not a wussy pussy!”

Odin Load In Discipline

We asked Tony Stark (Iron Man) for help in finding him, and soon caught up with the main man overseeing the nine realms as he went over his new prime directives.  Among the most compelling: Frost giants will start giving out free snow cones for all to enjoy within the realms. Loki shall wear a GPS device to track the mischief maker’s every trouble making move.  Thor must stop being a whiny bitch at once.

Thor, a bitch!?

All Father
All Father

“I do not usually agree with mortals in their coarse speech, trashy culture or rude manner, but in this instance, I adore the pop culture anchored phrase.  Thor throws shame and Hades shade onto a fabled family. His choices in friends and his questionable romantic entanglements consistently evidence of his being a bitch.  Such chicanery exhausts the All Father to no end!”

Thursday Is Thorsday Bitches

Why is your ultra famous son, Thor being such a bitch?

“Can a day of the week prove to an entire universe you are being a wussy pussy bitch?  My son’s day is Thorsday.  Always has been, always will be.  This was decreed many thousands of years before.  Now, because of mortal mishandling, it’s called Thursday.  Thuuursday. It sounds like a thirsty day. It’s not the day fit for a god!  Take back your day, my cowardly son and stop being a little, whiny defeated bitch!”