The Hobbit musical now pops off on the Broadway stage.  Although the acting cast is beyond legendary, one of the cast members needs no formal introduction.  He is known internationally – far and wide. This will be the definition of bigger, longer and uncut.  Notorious John Bobbitt, the man who lost his member temporarily, courtesy of his shear sporting wife, Lorena.  Can the inglorious Bobbitt make a convincing member searching Hobbit?

Bobbitt The Hobbit Blows On Broadway

“John Bobbitt will simply amaze your sense of size!  He’s performing like no other theater experience in years!  We are treating our audiences to Mister Bobbitt The Memberless Hobbit.  Art imitating life? Art exploiting life? Whatever you want to ultimately call it, our Bobbitt will have you going over the production finely fondling and measuring it with a big yardstick.  This will be the kindest cut of all, as you sit back, relax and get wowed by Bobbitt playing a penis losing Hobbit. Forget Mister Frodo, here comes Mister Bobbitt.

One Penis To Rule Them All?

A shiny, magical ring or a limp dick directive?  Who’s zoomin whom? Will Gollum be as obsessed over the member as he was over his precious ring?

“We’ve created a new character – he’s called Gulpum.  Gulpum’s burning, throbbing obsession with the snipped off member will be central to the plot.  Bobbit The Hobbit will have to reign in Gulpum and make sure he knows he’s the ultimate master of the recovered member.”