Harry Potter magic does absolute wonders. Pray thee, kind citizen – What limits magic? Evidently very little, as it now boasts the power to polish turds. That’s the terrific takeaway for a new probiotic Potter prop. The old saying ‘You can’t polish a turd’ must now be completely rethought, as proactive Potter peeps start to brilliantly shine up their shit.
Perfect Potter Poop Polish
Laugh Trek caught up with a super excited Potter Poop Polish salesman. He sat before us, straining himself to squeeze out some love for his poopy product.
“When all is shit, shat and done, it’s a simple, balanced equation, really. Shiny shit simply seems better.” mused a Potter prefect, “Poop is kinda boring, right? It lays there so ugly and it stinks up the place. Now, with Harry Potter Poop Polish, your poop takes on an entirely new sheen. Damn, you know, you might as well call it Shit Sheen!”
Shining up our shit? Come on… Really?
“Really! There are a myriad of advantages to not having to flush all of those crappy memories, creating even more headaches for our already clogged sewers. Poop polish eliminates stinky burdens from sewer workers. It assists the common man and woman by eliminating a need for plungers or calling in the pros. Hell, plumbers may lose some business, but we’ll all have shiny new choctkes to admire on our mantles!”
Shit Sheen? Poop Polish? It all seems so… diaper ready.
“Look, Harry Potter stands for wondrous magic. Potter potions and the like. Poop Polish Potion, Shit Sheen, whatever you want to call it ultimately, the fact is we must deal with the remains of our processed food daily – that is, if we’re lucky enough to keep regular by eating lots of fiber. Potter Poop Polish acts as the aromatic answer to our poopy prayers.”