Vader To Kylo Ren - WTF?

Darth Vader appears a tad upset, at least for the mercurial whims of an overly emotionally galactic overlord.  He’s not pulling any force punches. Bottom line: The Sith Dark Lord isn’t a happy evil Jedi. His problem?  He’s simply had it with his grandson, the ever enigmatic (many would say pathetic) Kylo Ren.

Vader Says Later Tater Raider

“My name is mud.  The family reputation is in shambles.  It’s in worse shape than a constipated Bantha after scarfing down on a big, steaming bowl of spicy Wookie stew.  It’s become a total, craptacular joke. Here I am, floating around looking like a suave Hayden Christensen in the mystical afterlife.  I’m a cool force ghost. Just call me Insidious Vader D.  I go around visiting the lost or unworthy.  I preach Matrix like Morpheus philosophical crap to the people who matter.”

Vader To Kylo Ren - WTF?

Vader To Kylo Ren – WTF?

Darth Vader paused dramatically.  He collected himself.

“And I did it in the end.  I really turned it around, didn’t I?  At the finale of my miserable, tortured life, I actually redeemed myself.  I took care of that punk ass Emperor Palpatine. What thanks do I get? I’m nearly overshadowed by a whiny, little pussy of a grandson.  A spoiled, psycho brat completely ruined everything the fabled Skywalker or Solo name ever stood for. WTF dude?  What is your malfunction?  What do I have to do to make you see what a friggin embarrassment you are to the entire galaxy, far far away?”

Force Ghosts Can Force

This pissed off Sith Lord simply reminded the faithful of a disturbing fact:  He still wields a hell of a lot of force. “You think just because I’ve kicked the bucket, I can’t do some serious shit?  Watch me. Kylo Ren better watch his raggedy little bitch ass. I can summon up some wicked force mojo. I’ll not stand by and watch a whiny, directionless little ass wipe ruin my legacy.  Watch your pussy stank butt, desperate dude. Vader D is always in the house when he’s a force ghost.”

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