Star Trek: Discovery is screaming at the top of their inter-species lungs. Can anyone hear you scream in space? This time, it’s safe to say that this Starfleet crew can be heard loudly and clearly. ‘Who needs that jerky Vulcan?!’ ‘Why are they putting Spock in our missions?!’ ‘What exactly is this corporate Starfleet bullshit anyway?’
The Spock Rock
It’s no surprise really. Spock appears to us a genuine rock. He’s definitely dependable; a Starfleet officer with more than enough mystique to fire up any lame assed warp core. It may be the reason why he was selected to party with the more sedate Discovery bunch.
Inquiring minds always need to know, or we go bust. We made our inquiries right at a spacey source – Starfleet brass itself.
“We needed to shake things up. Our current crew was becoming… well, let’s say a bit stale… a wee bit predictable. Usually, we’ll bring on a new crew member after a few seasons – I mean a few tours of duties or years! Here, it was more than clear to us that Discovery needed some help – stat.”
Logic Angers Some Of Us
Still, this little expression of logic doesn’t placate Discovery’s officers.
“It’s absolute crap. We’re going to be overshadowed by this guy. Are we so boring we needed a Vulcan to spice it up? It’s simply crazy. Vulcan logic just pisses us off! Hell, all logic makes us angry! Pins and needles, needles and pins. It’s a happy Starlfeet officer who grins!”
Finally, Laugh Trek decided to go to the very man himself. What say ye, Spock? What’s all the kerfuffle?
“A chance to clear the recycled life support system air is most appreciated. It is quite evident Star Trek Discovery desperately needs an officer like myself. You can even say Starfleet fabricated the entire starship with me foremost in mind. On my home planet of Vulcan, my people have a saying, ‘Live Long and Prosper’, apparently, the Discovery crew twisted that into ‘Live Lame and Prattle’. I look forward to the opportunity to light a well needed phaser fire under their complacent asses.”
Whoa Spock, easy there. Don’t hold anything back.