Elf On The Shelf just got some well needed holiday assistance. Naughty children now must watch themselves and how they behave come Christmas around another professional watcher – namely a spud. Potato On A Couch may not sound so aware or particularly alert, but this serious spud has got it all together.

This Reclining Spud Is No Dud

“What child will ever suspect a potato on a couch is watching them be naughty or nice?” boasted an overly excited and incredibly diminutive Elf On The Shelf executive on launch of his new Christmas observer. “Wanna know a Santa secret? We went through tons of development. First we thought a crunchy apple might shill, thrill and fill the bill. Then, our top engineers tested a ripe tomato on a couch. Finally, it dawned on us – the American public already has tons of potatoes on couches! Uncle Tony… Aunt Edna. Even Daddy himself, right? So, yeah. It all fit perfectly after that incisive realization!”

What of potent, potato personality?  Much like his older, and creepier sibling, Potato On A Couch says nary a word – yet somehow the spud comes across as being far more contemplative and reflective than those hysterically merry elves on shelves.

Fry No Lie

Holidays are hard work for everyone. We all could use a bit more organization and discipline. Elves On Shelves dot the merry landscape, working diligently as the military synchronized monitors of Admiral Santa Claus. Now, a beloved carb joins the spy like policing force to ensure kid cooperation come present time. We had to wonder – What’s the best part about Potato On A Couch?  “Elves aren’t very edible – even fried.  But come Christmas Day, our hungry customers can eat their potato.  Boiled, mashed or deep fried?” boasted the exec.