Chewbacca going solo? WTF? Yup, that too cute and cuddly Wookie is going it all alone. That’s the major takeaway those galactic Jedi producer Knights wish fans to know come another opening of A Star Wars Story film. This time, the big hairy guy won’t be playing second fiddle to droids, Jedi wielding lightsabers or that infamous and oh so roguish, scruffy nerf herder dude named Solo. Chewie will soon be chewing the blubbery Jabba the Hutt fat all by himself.
Chewie, use the marketing Force!
‘Chewie’ On This Star Wars Fans
What’s the game plan for a solo movie for the most famous Wookie in the galaxy, far far away?
“Chewie truly deserves this hyperspace spanning vehicle. He deserves his time in the sun, despite never being able to get a tan. He deserves to carry the movie alone. All the balls to the wall action, all the watery tears, all the crappy dialogue, all the unintelligible screeching and mutterings. Chewie can handle it all. We have faith in the big, hairy lug to give our fans a movie they’ll love, but never in hell’s name ever had the good sense to ask for!.”
Obi-Wan, You’re A Big Old Dope!
Princess Leia may have begged Old Ben Kenobi for help – calling him the rebel force’s ‘only hope’ – but what if Chewie called him a big dope? This is the tantalizing clues Star Wars producers have teased on their Chewie movie.
“What if Obi-Wan wasn’t so nice to Chewie? What if the old man was to rile up Chewbacca? What if our Wookie didn’t get along with Obi-Wan? Bottom line: What if Obi-Wan was just a big, old Jedi douchebag? We wonder about it too!”
Does this mean our great, legendary Jedi master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, will appear in Chewie: A Solo Story?
“We’re not saying he will or he won’t. Remember our truly unnecessary Darth Maul cameo in Solo? That’s all we’ll say for now!”
And what of space born romance? Will our favorite, horny Wookie get some cosmic nookie?
“Chewie is handsome, for a Wookie. He’ll get a chance to explore just how attractive he is – and then some!”
So, Chewbacca has decided he’ll finally go it alone. He’s really going solo. No matter where Chewie: A Solo Story brings our favorite walking shag carpet, we know Star Wars fan should be as super excited as they were about Solo: A Star Wars Story.