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Lucasfilm to release ‘The Force Snoozes: A Star Wars Story’

The Force Should Be Kept Asleep

Don't Wake Up The Force!

Star Wars: The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi are getting a companion movie, Lucasfilm announced today.  Like Solo: A Star Wars Story and Rogue One, this chapter will focus on important events not fully depicted in the main SW installments.  The Force Snoozes: A Star Wars Story encapsulates events coming directly after TFA, and before The Last Jedi.  Whatever you ultimately call the flick, it should hit us as a real snooze fest. 

We Should Have Let The Force Sleep A Little Longer

After a compulsory sleepover at Lucasfilm headquarters in San Francisco, Laugh Trek attended a media round table breakfast to talk up The Force Snoozes.  Dynamic creatives at the George Lucas legacy company soon turned the tables on us journalists. They fired off questions.  Before we knew what hit us, we were thinking about the big snooze, in a big way.

“Get enough sleep?  All rested?  By the way, did any of you activate the snooze button?  We gifted you each with a Lucasfilm/Disney alarm clock.  Who actually used it?”

Suddenly, a wave of overpowering silence settled soundlessly over the assemblage.  We all grinned nervously.  “Gotcha!’ the Lucasfilm reps crowed haughtily.  After we ravenously consumed our requisite Darth Vader shaped bagels, R2D2 buttered rolls, hard boiled eggs and C3PO style fruit cup continental breakfast, the corporate strategy and enigmatic mystery of the alarm clock was explained.

The Force Should Be Kept Asleep
Don’t Wake Up The Force!

The Force Was Really Sleepy

“Honestly, we woke The Force up way too early.  Much like you in your hotel rooms waiting for our meeting, a snooze option would have revealed more to your inquiring minds.  For our noble characters, more sleep, a snooze if you will, was required to let plot elements gel.  The Force awoke much too early.  It needed to smash the snooze button, to hunker down for more restorative shuteye.”

Lucasfilm went on to say the working title for Last Jedi was The Loopy Jedi, since the noble knight simply didn’t get enough sleep to function properly.  “With The Force Snoozes: A Star Wars Story, we will bring much needed sleep and healing rest to a franchise sorely in need of it.”