Star Wars is hard at work playing the funny name game once more. The fabled sci-fi franchise crafted by George Lucas never fails to delight loyal fans with colorful characters, and some of them are wild and wacky to say the least. Classics such as Jabba the Hutt, Jek Porkins, Elan Sleezebaganno and Sy Snootles are now making room for new silly names coming like Therm Scissorpunch from Solo: A Star Wars Story.
How in all of faster than light hyperspace travel does one actually name a Star Wars character? We bugged Lucasfilm till they caved in to our incessant hounding.
A Rose By Any Other Name Is Still A Really Dumb Name
After requesting to hear the new outlandish character names, Lucasfilm reps basically toyed with Laugh Trek for awhile, then they came clean. We wanted to know ALL the new, weird names, and they finally were accommodating. Fasten your seat belts, it’ll be a bumpy ride!
Poochie The Mutt – A cuddly doglike creature related to Chewbacca, a distant canine relation.
Dumm Assa – Simply one of the dopiest Jedi ever to wield a lightsaber.
Jerkee Wadda – He’s no charismatic rogue like legendary Han Solo, he’s simply a big wad of jerkiness.
Prince Laidher – A new royal rebel. If a Princess can be called something or other, than a Prince can too!
XXXXL – These new droids are really really FAT!
Shia Douchebaggano – This mysterious character is rumored to be played by Shia Laboeuf.
Darth Doodee – His Jedi mates called him it whenever he got shitfaced – it stuck.
Rose Taco – A cheeky variation on The Last Jedi character, Rose Tico.
Soda – Yoda’s younger, more hyperactive brother. He’s always downing soft drinks.
Wannamaka Jizz – Don’t get too close to him when he does his funky ass ‘thang’.
Finally, we had the big balls to ask – Where does all this silly name game really go to in the end – Force Ghost funky fun-land? Do Star Wars fans truly like these names, or do they just love to make fun of them? Maybe, it’s both. Indeed. After getting a load of these new character names, Luke Skywalker sounds almost stuffy and everyday. Use the thesaurus, Luke!