Resistance Is Futile – famously say those ever lovin cybernetic rascals, The Borg. Get ready, cosmic sports fans. Now, those cybernetic baddies have focused their laser eye assimilation sights on tennis. Racket ruffian John McEnroe will go toe to toe with the rampaging cyborgs we all love to see absorb their opponents. Will McEnroe’s legendary rants and childish tantrums be enough to withstand the assimilating onslaught? Borg Vs McEnroe hits theaters this week, and we’ll all soon view an epic conflict between man and man-machine.
Nobody Plays Tennis Fairly In Outer Space
“We Are The Borg. Resistance Is Futile. Your Pro Tennis Life As It Has Been Is Over. Now You Will Lob Aces Exclusively For Us.” – Reads The Borg’s Official Press Release.
As usual, the Borg maintained the company mission statement and those ever familiar talking points. It was all we could get out of them. John McEnroe, however, couldn’t shut up for a second. He droned on and on about his epic match up between him and our galaxy’s most notorious rampaging robo-humanoids. In fact, he gave Laugh Trek too many colorful quotes. This was the only one we could actually print. “This funky shit is going way down, people! You Muthas think a god damn robot freak from space is gonna beat the Mac Man? Tough titties! You got your heads so far up your fat, smelly asses even Preparation H ain’t gonna do no good!”