Rebel Scum need to stash cash and loads of it.  A rebellion against a super powered evil empire doesn’t exactly come cheap.  To help fund their wild and wacky little resistance fighting, Rebel Scum have recently hatched a nifty little merchandising campaign.  Resistance Rings.  Now you can help fund those heroic resistance fighters and own a piece of the rebellion.  Use The Marketing Force, Luke!

Own A Piece Of The Rebel Scum Resistance

“We need money.  Moolah.  Clams.  Cash.  We’re not above selling just a wee bit of our idealistic, rebellion spirit by churning out these Resistance Rings.  You want to own a piece of our scummy rebellion?  Pay us for it and you will get a cheap, plastic ring in return.  Win-Win.”

Will these gaudy rings have an intrinsic value or needful use other than being colorful, plastic trinkets which look cool to wear while you fondle other cheaply made, valueless merchandise?  “We’re proud to say our rings will be cheap, useless little knickknacks.  All the better to earn us huge profit, since we won’t be needing to spend much to make them.  It’s like any other collectible you buy – plastic trash for your hard earned cash!”  Asked by Laugh Trek about the enterprising news, a representative for Supreme Leader Snoke snapped, “And you call us cold and sneaky, soulless villains?”