Holy XXXL caped crusader, Batman! You don’t want to be known as The Fatman Of Gotham City. And now, after your extreme diet success, you can justly be called Built-Man. Thanks to a world famous diet plan, Gotham’s Dark Knight has shed an enormous amount of weight.
Batman, Remember: Gotham Doesn’t Stand For ‘Got Ham?’
Riddle Me This: What dark avenger was stressing his Batarang so much, he was in real danger of causing a Bat-quake if he fell off Gotham Cathedral?
Batman offered us this as his simple reasoning for slimming down, “I was eating my crime fighting troubles away. I’d snack as easily as Catwoman sharpens her feline, finicky claws. Being Gotham’s avenging Dark Knight isn’t an easy mission. Joker’s an evil douche bag. Penquin’s a putz. Two-Face is a shithead – make that shitheads. Ya gotta keep fit. It’s loads harder when you pack on the pounds and become a real lard ass.”
And true believers, we also had to ask him: What of Robin? Is he in danger of blimping up to become The Boy Blubber? “Robin may have to partake in a weight loss plan as well. He’s looking a bit pudgier these days. Alfred can let only out his costume just so much.”