Of all the many quotes from the one and only Enterprise D android Data in Star Trek: The Next Generation, this from The Naked Now is perhaps most memorable of all, “I am programmed in multiple techniques. A broad variety of pleasuring.” Data answers a lusty Tasha Yar’s call for sexual action, and the quote comes before one of the sentient droid’s most human of all experiences.
The Hangover Next Generation Style
The Hangover films – starring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis – serve up broad comedy and offer fans a chance to live vicariously through the comic exploits of a group of wacky guys known as The Wolfpack. Amid smart jokes, clever situations, exotic tigers and even boxer Mike Tyson, the film trilogy engages a simple, though comedy rich premise: a comically gifted cast get drunk and horny. A complicated aftermath – with insanely interconnected consequences – awaits our valiant Wolfpack to clean up. And boy, do they always have loads of cleaning up to do!
The Naked Now
Star Trek: The Next Generation boasts a Hangover vibe in “The Naked Now”, an early first season entry, which marks a sequel of sorts to the original series story, The Naked Time. In that TOS romp, Kirk, Spock and the rest of Enterprise fall prey to a condition which effectively renders them inebriated.
Frakes On The Episode
Actor Jonathan Frakes, Commander William Riker himself, offers his assessment of one of TNG’s more daring 1st season entries, “The Naked Now is great… the episode which we’ve never done anything quite like where everyone got drunk and horny. That was risky.”
Drunk and horny. Our Enterprise-D crew becomes The Wolfpack.
In both tales, a starship Enterprise picks up a nasty bug, making even a raging flu bout look like a pesky case of the sniffles. Our crackerjack Starfleet crew is besieged by a water borne virus with an overwhelming alcoholic kick. Basically, it gets everyone rip roaring drunk.
Data Is ‘Drunk’
All out wackiness ensues, then abounds in copious, comedic measure; Wesley Crusher takes charge of the failing professionalism around him and promotes himself to the Acting Captain. Data spouts bastardized Shakespeare quotes. ‘If you prick me, do I not… leak?’, he queries his ever Shakespearean capable Captain. However, of all the weirdness or embarrassing revelations, a Tasha Yar and Data sexual escapade outshines all the rest in plain deliciousness.
Fully Functional Droid
Denise Crosby’s too brief portrayal of Security Chief Tasha Yar stands as a memorable example of Next Generation’s dynamic evolution during its seven seasons. Yar impressed as an epitome of efficiency and order. She was all business. She’d never be caught compromised in any way while on duty or otherwise. Here, we see Yar spinning in a full on, hormonal fueled rampage – hunting for sex partners to satisfy her erotic hunger. She’s become a sexual predator on the prowl.
A Lusty Tasha Yar
Her irresistible booty call yields booty of the artificial kind. Yar blissfully manages to recruit Data for a sex job. How synthetically poetic. Dr. Soong would be so proud of his wondrously flexible creation. Apparently, Data ably rises to each and every challenge which comes his way.
Seductive Tech
When will fully functional androids programmed in multiple pleasuring techniques become a reality in our increasingly sexually imaginative world? Actually, such a playful parallel is closer than you’d think. Sex toys and digital dolls as capable, realistic and as helpful as Data functions to Yar are here, after a fashion. These Japanese created gadgets get us closer to reenacting Yar and Data’s love romp. They are now producing artificial girlfriends – complete with a full range of pleasing attributes. It’s advertised these primitive female ancestors of Data will never reject your advances. With them, you’ll never feel lonely. Saturday nights will always be fun, as long as your electric, erotica doll is fully charged.
TNG AT 30
Thirty years ago, Gene Roddenberry’s speculative sci-fi in Next Generation posited questions on our future – both living planet bound and while working or playing in space. With The Naked Now, artificial sex play is explored as an incidental aside. Though Lt Yar shies away from discussing their tryst openly, making Data vow to never mention it again, a human and machine sexcapade fit her mood – albeit altered at time of copulation. You can imagine many people choosing an artificial sex interlude, yet being reluctant to later openly admit to the participation. Maybe Dr. Phil will do a few shows on the artificial sexual addiction phenomenon.
Sexual Future
And maybe Yar’s choice predicts a future generation’s struggle. Perhaps similar restraint will take hold of those embarrassed by their choice in artificial sex or in artificial bed partners. The puritanical or simply uptight among us may argue having sex with android playmates is wrong, unhealthy or so unnatural it’ll force people into an artificial sex closet. Even today, condemnation is made against any kind of cyber sex or even good, old fashioned pornography. But just as it’s no business what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom, the same may soon be said between a consenting human and his or her artificial lover. Love Long & Prosper!
I don’t think anyone would admit to having sex with a robot or android.