Laugh Trek

Don't Wreck Yourself. Laugh Trek yourself.

Jedi Council Changes Name From Lightsaber To ‘Lasersaber’



Jedi are going to have to use the Force to effect some real change in their lives – as in name change.  That ever dependable and legendary weapon the cracker jack warriors have employed for centuries will be getting a shiny name makeover.  Get ready, faithful folk, your legendary tool to battle empire injustice and rogue, dark side addicted emperors goes from lowly lightsaber to now being known as lasersaber.

Laser Is Light After All

Use the Force, Luke!  Grab your ‘lasersaber’ and kick Sith ass!  

It was really a no brainer.”, offered the head of the Jedi Council, “Lasersaber sounds so much cooler.  It also more properly defines our trusty weapon.  It’s laser like and it’s a saber.  All of that, and it even rhymes!  Isn’t that too awesome?”


We appreciate his enthusiasm, but we remain just as skeptical as us ever finding a clean shaven Wookie.  Lightsaber is a more elegant weapon for a more civilized age.  Lasersaber sounds pretty darned lethal.  N’est pas?

Folk Music Fancy

Jedi Council representative continued his sales pitch, “That’s kind of the point, isn’t it?  We want to strike more fear into the hearts of our enemies.  Lightsaber sounds like you’re going to a folk music festival and flailing around in the dark concert hall.  Yay, bring on the hippie folk singers!  We’ll light your way with our brilliantly shining lightsabers!  Yippee!  Yoohoo!  But lasersaber?  Now that little beauty sounds like we mean laser cutting business.  The way Darth Maul sounds like he’s gonna maul ya but bloody good, that’s our lasersaber!”

Jedi may be loyal to the council and to the spirit of their brethren, but they’re known as old school and traditional.  What if the name change doesn’t sit well with the men and women who carry the deadly energy blades?  “Lasersaber or lightsaber, the thing can still cut your body in half, right?  It’s more of a PR and marketing thing, really, but we think it will catch on.  May the Force be with you!  And your brand new lasersaber!”