Starfleet surprised the entire galaxy today when it announced it will produce a specialty, space based reality show. Code Named: “A Star Trek Of The Galaxy” – the show will follow a Constitution Class starship named Enterprise as it warps around the various galactic quadrants. “To Bravely Seek Out New Stuff” is the working, dynamic tagline.
Star Spawned Reality TV
The exciting news came to us via a subspace press release. It read as the usual prefabricated fun and fluff, but we wanted a direct quote from Starfleet Command Headquarters itself. Reality TV – from Starfleet? Infinite Diversity, Insane Combinations, indeed!
“We are going to show our citizens of the United Federation of Planets just what Starfleet does in our day to day operations. By launching, ‘A Star Trek Of The Galaxy’, we’ll allow the common man, woman, alien, trans-gendered species or pure energy based lifeforms a detailed tour of life aboard our flagship starship – the magnificent Admiral Roddenberry conceived Enterprise.”
Currently, Captain James T. Cork commands the Enterprise, serving under him is the Vulcan, Scort, as his First Officer and also science expert, while Dr. Leo McCorny mans the advanced space vessel’s Medical Sickbay. Lt. O My Sooloo, Lt. Ohara and Ensign Chernobyl round out Cork’s bridge crew. Reality shows are known for their unabashed realistic presentations. What you see, is what you get – right? Will any Starfleet famous names be changed to fancy things up and, more importantly, to protect the innocent? Wink wink.
Fame Name Game
“Honestly, the actual Enterprise crew names are sort of boring. It’s real life, after all. We’ll prob give them stage names. Jim Cork will probably be called Jim Quark or Jimmy Olsen or Jimmsy Bond or something sexier.”
As for the alien races we’ve already encountered, Starfleet Command offers these revamps, Clinggens will now be Klingons, the sneaky Romaines will now be called Romulans and Vulcans will stay Vulcans – since they are a dead assed serious race, possessing absolutely no sense of humor, thrill of play nor iota of fun.
While conducting our interview of Starfleet Command, the show’s actual working title came under a little phaser fire. When we playfully suggested they simply call the series, Star Trek, SC brass paused for a few and replied excitedly, “Hell, just Star Trek….. Not bad at all. Shit, that might just work!”