James Bond will soon be going on a new, exciting mission. This one will be a game of words. He’s going to have to call one of his most famous foes by a brand new name. Oddjob, the deadly henchman of Bond’s gold plated nemesis, Auric Goldfinger, is done with his old name. From this day forward, Oddjob will now forever be known as Odd Career.
The usually taciturn, villainous minion became animated when he spoke of his upcoming name change, “Odd Job was too basic. It sounded as if I was a handyman or a transient looking for work as I combed the picturesque countryside like some unreliable itinerant. No more. I need stability in this random employment landscape. Don’t we all? I want a career! And it is an odd career!”
The lethal artist formerly known as Oddjob relishes his new moniker as classy and professional, “Everybody deserves a career – not just a job. Mine is causing terminal brain injuries by throwing a steel enshrouded hat at people to crush in their skulls. Look, I trained for this position for years. I beheaded so many innocents. It’s my odd criminal career. I’m making the very most of it.”
Bond, James Bond was unavailable for comment on this new identity wrinkle in his super spy stuff, but Odd Career has some timely advice for his old pal, the ultimate British superspy,
“James Bond is way too long. Don’t you think so? Why don’t you simply call yourself Bond? Bond sounds cooler than the full on James Bond. My boss Goldfinger calls him Mister Bond. And he expects him to die! So maybe instead of taking so long and repeating your full name, Bond, James Bond – just call yourself Bond. It’s bold. It’s strong. It just works!”