Time Machine employed as a hip party tool? If Taylor Rod has his timely way, he’ll be using his personal time machine to attend all documented New Year’s Eve parties – not just in the world, but throughout the history of all recorded time.
Time Travel Party
“People use time machines for all sorts of silly, throwaway reasons. They use em to visit the Great Pyramids, to see the building of Stonehenge as it happened, to watch a living, breathing T-Rex chase down its trivial prey. A good friend used his to see the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Wow. Great. Such trivial fun. Yay! I’m there too. Sure. But I want more. What about the ultimate time party? New Year’s Eve. How about attending every major New Year’s Eve party in history? That’s what I wanna do with my time. And with my time machine, I’m gonna make it happen.”
We pressed him on the obvious. What about getting access? Just because you can time travel to all the hot spots, it doesn’t mean you’re going to get in to see the action, correct?
“Access shouldn’t be a problem – especially with some of the more classic parties, they just didn’t care or have the technology to keep crashers out. As for the more difficult ones, well, let’s just say that time travel can take care of many things. I won’t say anymore.”
Time Travel Snags
What of time travel anomalies and dangerous contradictions? And even dread Temporal Paradoxes? What if you meet yourself at one of the parties – before you had a time machine? Can we say really awkward?
“It’s OK, since I’ll just avoid myself. I’ll be dressed in such a funky style, my old past self won’t even recognize my time travelling future self. It’s really elementary. If my past self does recognize my future self, I’ll just knock myself out and when my past self wakes up, I’ll just think it was all a bad dream.”
We wished this carefree time traveler well. He’ll risk going into the past, perhaps altering the timeline by corrupting his own past self, just for the sake of hitting hot parties of history. Time travel is one of the most incredible technologies at our disposal, yet the irresponsible among us choose to use it to achieve a kind of royal party man status. To each their own. Just realize something and be warned; if you see some weirdo at a New Year’s party who looks and sounds like you, it could very well be your future self on a time travel party crawl.