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Constable Odo of DS9 Opens Up ‘Bad MoFo’ Security Firm

Odo Bad Mofo

Odo Bad Mofo

Odo will soon be One Bad Mofo – as in him laying down the law.  The Changeling Constable, most well known for his tenure as head law enforcement officer on Deep Space Nine, will now be busily farming out his special brand of harsh justice to anyone who needs it.  We were excited when he informed us exclusively of his business plan.  Odo sent out a brief subspace message informing us, and now the entire galaxy, of his bold new venture:

Odo Bad Mofo Security.

“Deep Space Nine, DS9 or even Terok Nor – whatever name you deem to call the place of my prior position – made me aware of one essential thing about achieving a level of success in law enforcement:  Criminals are as dumb as rocks.  Odo Bad Mofo intends to take full advantage of that sad, but universal truth.”

Services available from Odo Bad Mofo include: Bodyguards, perimeter monitoring, investigative procedures, crowd control, planetary sensor sweeps, force field enhancement and, according to Odo, one of the crown jewels of the forthcoming company, Ferengi Background Check or FBC.  This last service is of particular enjoyment to the former DS9 head of security.

Odo laughs heartily, “Ah yes, our patented FBC.  Ferengi are quite well known to me.  I dealt on a daily basis with one of the best – or worse depending on your viewpoint.  Quark’s antics taught me everything I need to know on Ferengi business practices, whether he liked it or not.  Thankfully, his brother and nephew balanced out the behavior equation or I’d never have trusted another Ferengi again.  Our FBC algorithms are programmed with the kind of shenanigans Quark would pull – it’s one of the services I’m most proud of from my Bad MoFo.”

One Bad Odo Mofo
One Bad Odo Mofo

New Perspective On Law Enforcement

Odo’s excitement about expanding outward from all he learned while at DS9 is increased by new technology he’ll employ.  “My people, The Founders – aka The Dominion – develop the most advanced technology around.  The Borg would love to get their grimy, cybernetic mitts on it.  And now, I’ll be employing much of it for benefit of my clients.”

In our correspondence with Constable Odo, we asked about the new lending firm coming from his old nemesis, Quark.  Is it a big coincidence to see these two projects coinciding?  “Are you kidding me?  One of the main reasons I’m opening up Odo Bad MoFo is because Quark’s got his greedy lobes out for profit.  He’ll always find a way to skirt the law.  I’ll always find a way to bring him right back down, preferably to a jail cell.