The Hulk Meets Yoda: Green Rage Vs Green Wisdom

Hulk Smash!  Yeah, Hulk.  We know the drill by now.  You smash this and Hulk smash that.  Is it no wonder this guy has extreme anger management issues?  He’s a green meanie, but he’s lovable too.  There’s another lovable green guy, who while smaller, packs a pretty mean punch all his own.  Yoda, Jedi master extraordinaire, is one mean green mother from outer space.  What would happen if these two powerhouses mixed it up?

Bruce Banner excels as a brilliant scientist who explores the mind bending reaches of science.  His work with super powered super hero group, The Avengers, takes him to the most outer reaches of the cosmos – even beyond.  It wouldn’t be so bizarre to speculate on the meeting of these two green skinned warriors.  Yoda may be old at 900 years – even insanely ancient by human standards – but he’s still pretty spry for 100 years shy of a millennium.  Let’s pretend they clash in a grudge match.  Oh yeah, it’s on.

Tale of The Jade Green Tape

Coming in at as massively muscle bound behemoth that is Hulk, the raw strength advantage is crystal clear.  He only must grab the little Kermit like Yoda and splat – green stain on Hulk’s palms.  That is, of course, if Hulk can ever catch the little guy.  We know how fast and gymnastic Yoda can be.  Hulk may ultimately be faster, but Yoda boasts a definite agility advantage.

And then there’s The Force

This awesome cosmic power can’t be underestimated.  Much like Professor Xavier of The X-Men or his pupil Jean Grey, Yoda wields vast psychokinetic abilities and awesome mind spooky goodness.  Yoda can enter Hulk’s mind and overwhelm it, or manipulate his massive body psychically.  Though it may tax him, and certainly Hulk would be struggling against it, this is Yoda – one of the Jedi supreme.  It’s a sure bet he’d be able to incapacitate Hulk for the time it takes for a lightsaber to be activated.

Lightsaber and Force Bolts

Jedi never leave home without it.  Although it’s not a natural power, it’s like taking Wolverine’s claws away from him or stripping Spidey of webbing.  Yoda would make short work of Hulk with his jade green energy sword – and it wouldn’t be pretty.

Lighting like force bolts – or plasma bolts – are also at Yoda’s command.  Hulk has shrugged off much more potent energy attacks, but the force bolts could undoubtedly distract and buy Yoda some time in between mind blasts and lightsaber strikes.

Hulk keeps getting stronger as his incalculable rage increases, yet Yoda’s masterful Force manipulation is ever energizing.  Green Rage Vs Green Wisdom.  Mind powers against muscle powers.  Whatever the outcome, the show those two would put on for an audiences would rock the galaxy for years to come.