Grab A Shark & Get Your Ass Bi

Like sharks?  Think they’re cute and irresistible?  Do you scout for their appearance at the beach?  Can’t help but give em a big, fat grab?  Yeah, we’ve all been there.  Surprisingly, a new study says you’re not alone, but you’re also not being all together prudent.  No matter how cute and cuddly they appear, Do Not Grab A Shark.  

Grab Sharks, Get Bit

People are grabbing sharks more and more.  Is this simply a passing fad, or is it an increasing trend for the casual beach goer?  Guy Sharky, head of the Ocean Life Is Cuddly action group, had this to say about the widespread and growing problem.  

“Yes, sharks are insanely beautiful.  They’re unbelievably adorable.  We all know the power of the shark.  They’re irresistible to reaching down and grabbing them.  Most people with real willpower in all other areas find themselves powerless to not grab, hug or cuddle a shark.  But if you do, know this; you may get your dumb ass bit.  Yes, believe it or not, a shark will bite those who grab them.  You may find your hand coming back to you a bloody stump.  Wanna be known as stumpy the rest of your life?  This is the shocking data we’re finding from a new, breakthrough study.”

‘Grab A Shark’ Fan Group

Unsurprisingly, owing to shark’s crazy, limitless charm, there’s another point of view.  Sarah Fischer, founder of Grab A Shark or just plain GAS, wasn’t discouraged in the least.  She had this to say about the new calculus on cuddling up to those big fish with big, sharp teeth.

Grab A Shark & Get Your Ass Bi

Grab A Shark & Get Your Ass Bit

GAS is here for all passionate shark lovers.  We will continue to advocate for the smart, gentle and yes, the healthy act of grabbing sharks.  It’s been proven:  Grab a shark, increase your blood flow.  It’s quite a simple shark grabbing equation.  GAS boasts dozens of fairly intelligent members.  Yeah, we’re not rocket scientists.  We’re not brain surgeons, but we’re proud to say we’ve all graduated high school.  Bottom line:  We really like grabbing sharks.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *