Folks, you’ve been properly warned: This ain’t no child’s play! Chucky has a clear message and stern warning for Annabelle, the new fright doll shocking our horror movie world. ‘Stop making those effing films, bitch! You’re stealing my thunder! Keep it up, honey and I’ll cut you deep!’
Annabelle Vs Chucky?
For years, Chucky reigned alone as cinema’s primary doll of doom. From his first fright flick, Child’s Play released in 1988, Chucky became our true friend to the end. Six scary sequels followed, and our ginger Chuckster had no equal, no china, plastic nor wood fashioned challenger could best him. With Annabelle’s frightful arrival on the scene, Chucky knows he’s no longer the smelliest poop in the bowl.
Laugh Trek sat down with Chucky carefully, making certain no kitchen utensils nor anything remotely dangerous lay around within reach of his tiny, yet thoroughly deadly hands. “Annabelle is a total car wreck! Why are you stupid idiots going to see this shallow crap!?”
As the chat wore tiredly on, Chucky completely lost his shit. Laugh Trek prides itself on, shall we say, a classy environment for language. What follows is a highly edited version of Chucky’s epic rant.
“This stupid, pandering little f@!# gets me so freakin angry. I’ll toss her motherf@#!ing butt into a wood chipper! I’ll take what comes out to wipe my f@!#ing leaking hiney!”
Devil Doll Dialog
Suddenly, with no warning, not even a scary musical cue, we were interrupted by the main woman of the horror house – the Bride Of Chucky herself. Unfortunately, things on the language front didn’t improve.
“Am I being ham slammed in the god damn Twilight Zone? This lame assed bitch is trying to replace us? Um, no…. Are you f!#@ing kidding me? Bitch, please! I could take you drunk with both my hands shoved up my cu–” Laugh Trek thanked Chucky and his beautiful bride for the generous time in discussing this sensitive subject.
Strictly for shits and giggles, we contacted the new darling devil doll for her unique perspective on the Chucky Vs Annabelle match-up, she laughed, “Chucky is no Good Guy. He’s not a friend to the end. He’s a little whiny bitch.”