Enterprise 1701 boasts a sterling reputation of galactic notoriety. This Constitution Class Starship warps around the galaxy searching out new life and civilizations, and what it’s found thus far fills copious databanks at Memory Alpha. And while waxing poetically about the exploits of a Starfleet vessel is fine, a starship doesn’t run itself – even with an on board M5 computer.
The Enterprise, like any starship, still requires people. It’s no surprise Captain Kirk commands some of the best in Starfleet. Kirk’s crew defines professionalism. Two of his bridge officers, Lt. Sulu and Ensign Chekov, know first hand the extraordinary wonders discovered by Enterprise.
It’s not uncommon for the truly bizarre to literally happen before a starship crew’s eyes. For the bridge crew, seeing the weird before other crew members is all in a day’s work. Here now are some of the oddest, freakiest and just plain strange things Sulu and Chekov have witnessed on their viewscreen.
“They were colorful…. bouncy…. clowns. I saw them clearly and they performed routines for me.” Ensign Pavel Chekov isn’t known for his bloated exaggerations, but even so, clowns? When pressed further, he shot back, “As a boy in Russia, I’d see clowns all the time – in the circus and in my local government. I know clowns when I see them!”
“Unicorns. I know. It sounds completely ridiculous, but they were actually really pretty. Straight out of folklore or a fairy tale. Remember, all visual images displayed on our view screens are recorded and sent back to Starfleet.” When asked why we couldn’t find any records, Sulu replied, “I dunno. Maybe they are magic.”
Chekov smiled as he related this one, “It was such a cute dog. And it licked our screen. It kept licking the view screen. Well, it appeared as if it was licking, you know…. I desperately wanted to give it a chew toy and bone.”
Both Sulu and Chekov looked equally fearful with this one. “It was afraid. One of those catzoids I think. It was really scared.” commented Sulu. “You could say it was a scaredy cat!” chimed in Chekov. Sulu shot Chekov a disgusted look and stormed off, never to return.
“It was a silly mime man. A man who simply pretended he was in an invisible box or something. It was freakish, but silly. I had nightmares thereafter”, described Ensign Chekov. Sulu screamed off camera, “You made that one up, Pavel!”